It was Taisho who answered, and that threw him for a minute. He'd been trying to prepare what to say to Krispin, but what should he say to the singer? They stared at each other's images for a moment.
"Ahh, it's you. I was hoping you'd turn up eventually." Taisho's calm words surprised him.
"You were? Why?"
"He's been lonely. He doesn't normally bother to do what people tell him, but you seem to have a different effect on him, and since you told him to go away and leave you alone, he's been making an effort to do so."
Jintesh stared at Taisho in disbelief. He vaguely remembered muttering those words while he was half asleep. He slapped his forehead. "It was the middle of the morning and I wasn't even awake! Did he seriously think I meant it?"
"He was on Haze, don't forget. Everything is more intense. Shall I get him for you?"
"Yeah. Thanks." Jintesh wanted to ask Taisho so many things.. like why he cared so much for Krispin, and why he tolerated Jintesh so well when he obviously wanted Krispin for himself. But those questions could wait. He wanted to see Krispin's smiling face again.
Taisho nodded and vanished from view. Jin waited nervously, every second seeming to take an eternity. Then a familiar voice, rather faint, echoed through the speakers.
"Taisho, put me down! I said I don't want to talk to anyone!" The voice grew louder, and then suddenly Krispin's face appeared in the datathread, his lips pouting and petulant.
"Krispin, look at the thread." Taisho's voice was quiet and firm, and Krispin obeyed. His eyes grew very large and a slow smile replaced the pouting completely.
"Tesh! Tesh, it's really you? You do want me!" He began to giggle. "I knew it, but I was trying to be good for a change. That's what I get, ne?"
"Krispin, why the hell did you listen to what I said at some ungodly hour of the morning while I was still half asleep?"
Krispin shrugged his shoulders, his grin permanently plastered to his face. "You sounded so gruff and intense about it. I figured you meant it. You were so pissed off at me the whole time I was there. So shall we forgive and forget?"
Jin blinked. "Ahh.." Did Krispin mean just that little misunderstanding, or the whole evening? Jintesh wasn't sure he wanted to forgive and forget everything that had happened. He wanted to yell at Krispin and try to make him understand why he hadn't wanted to do it in the first place. He also wanted to do it again, and for that he cursed his body. "Krispin, can we talk someplace? Face to face?"
"Sure! Want me to come over?"
Jin thought about it a moment. He wasn't so sure being stuck in his cozy little apartment with Krispin was such a good idea right now. "How about I meet you at the bridge? My bridge."
"Okay. I can be there in about half an hour."
"Me too." If he walked quickly. "See you then."
"Gotcha!" Krispin blew him a kiss and then cut the thread, one last giggle echoing through the speakers.
Jintesh hurried so much that he was there in twenty-five minutes. He leaned over the railing, thinking about the last time he'd seen Krispin here. How much easier it had been then. How had his life changed so dramatically in only four weeks?
"Boo." It was little more than a whisper, but Jin reacted as if it'd been yelled in his ear, jumping away in alarm. Krispin had seemingly appeared out of nowhere, and was leaning against the rail next to him, giggling.
"Goddamnit. One day I'm going to get used to that." Jin sighed, and leaned over the railing again.
"I doubt it." There was a smile in Krispin's voice, as he pressed himself up against Jin's body. They stayed that way for a moment, but then Jintesh moved away again, just slightly. He didn't need that now; he was having a hard enough time concentrating as it was. "So, what's up, Tesh?" Krispin stayed where he was this time.
"Krispin.. when you came over, while you were high.. did you want to forgive and forget that, too? Do you even remember it coherently?" It was as good a place to start as any.
"Yeah, I remember. Drugs don't mess with my memory." Krispin climbed up to sit on the railing, facing the city below. "Did you want to forget about it?"
"Not really. But I.. I don't know. I didn't want it to be quite like that."
"Like what?" Krispin's eyes were narrow as they peered over his shoulder.
Jintesh sighed. It was time to stop trying to be coy. He was annoyed; it was still upsetting him, and he hated that it affected him so much. "We'd only known each other for three weeks and you fuck me 'cause you're high and horny." He couldn't put it any blunter than that. "I know I didn't make much of an effort to stop you, but.. shit. I just wanted.." He stopped talking. He didn't know what he wanted anymore. He just needed Krispin to know that it had hurt.
Krispin was silent for a long time. Jintesh waited him out. He wasn't going to say anything else until he knew just what the hell Krispin was thinking right now.
"Well, I'll tell you something, Tesh. I never meant it to happen quite like that either. I'm not quite so in control of my emotions when I'm high. Hey, I'm hardly in control of them at the best of times." He favoured Jintesh with a quick grin. "You've seen how wild I can be, even without my drugs. It's the way I am." He paused, kicking at the bars with his sneakers. "I would've done it differently, but it's done. And if it'd been anyone else that night, I wouldn't have done anything with them." He peered at Jin again. "I don't know if that makes a difference to you. I guess it does to me. If you wanna let it go, let it go now. If you can't forgive me, decide that now, 'cause I'm not going to hang around for six months only to find that you hate me then because of what happened now. It's your call, Tesh." Krispin turned his face towards the city lights again, digging in his pocket for cigarettes. He pulled one out and lit it.
Jintesh watched him silently, processing his words. Krispin wasn't apologising, but he hadn't really expected that, nor did he particularly want it. He wanted.. he wanted Krispin to care about him best. He wanted to matter to Krispin. What the boy had said -- "if it'd been anyone else that night, I wouldn't have done anything with them" -- those words did make a difference to him. And that beaming smile when Krispin had realised that it was him on the data-thread.. that made a difference to him, too. The fact that Krispin cared, that Krispin wasn't trying to hurt him or lie to him or mess with his mind, that was what mattered.
He watched Krispin take a drag from his cigarette, and he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the boy's waist, nestling his head in Krispin's shoulder. Krispin turned slightly to look at him.
"Does that mean you forgive me?" He asked, discarding his cigarette.
"Tell me one thing, Krispin. Why do you take Haze?"
Krispin blinked at him. "Ahh. Taisho told you what I was on." He turned his head away, shrugging slightly. "It's as much about that, too, isn't it? Well.." He paused, as if considering his words, then leaned back to rest against Jin, tilting his head back to stare up at the sky. "Haze keeps me sane, Tesh. It's about the only thing that does. You don't want to know what I'm like without it. It's not really about desires, or getting high, or being extreme. I can't ask you, or expect you, to understand it. It's just.. something I have to have."
"Do you know what it does to you, how bad it is for you?" Jin spoke softly, almost afraid to break the seriousness of the mood. Krispin just nodded. Jin hesitated over the next question, but it was something he had to ask. "Would you give it up, if I asked you to?"
Krispin was silent for a long time, still staring up at the sky above him. Then he turned to face Jintesh, his face strangely lacking in expression. "No." He whispered the word. They stared at each other, faces almost entirely in shadow except for the occasional flickers of light from the city. "Do you still forgive me, Tesh?"
Jin closed his eyes. What a question. What a decision to make. Could he stand by and watch Krispin, knowing what was going to happen to him? Knowing what he was going to become? Could he let go now, already so firmly entrenched in his desire and longing? He didn't know which would hurt him more. It hurt just thinking about it.
But finally he opened his eyes. "I need you more than I need you to stop taking Haze," he said, his voice cracking over the words, and he pulled Krispin close, burying his face in his silver hair and promising himself that he would find a way to help Krispin without forcing him to break his addiction. There had to be a way.
Krispin ran gentle fingers over his back, letting Jin practically crush him in his embrace. Then a teasing voice whispered in his ear.
"Can I do something for you, Tesh?"
Jintesh resolutely pushed all worries about Haze out of his head for now. If something happened to Krispin, it would happen later. For now, why didn't he just enjoy Krispin's company and make the most of it? "What?" he asked, pulling his head back and staring into those beautiful mismatched eyes he loved so much.
"Let me make it up to you." Krispin grinned at him. "Let me do things the way they should've been done, not the way I did them when I was high."
"You mean.." Jintesh couldn't manage to finish the sentence, as Krispin's cold fingers slid under his shirt, caressing his skin in a way that made it quite clear what he meant.
"Let me fuck you the way you deserve it." Krispin tilted his head slightly, his gaze half lidded, and licked his lips slowly. Jintesh stared at that brazen, seductive expression, and felt the hard, desperate effect it had on his desires. There was only one answer he could come up with in response to that, and he croaked the word out.
Krispin's streambike was parked nearby, and they drove a fast, wild ride back to Jintesh's apartment. The cold wind rushing over him cleared Jin's head somewhat, but it had little effect on his desires, as Krispin's warm body was pressed close against him the whole time. He was aching, and the short ride seemed to take hours.
Then they were there, parking the bike, walking up the stairs and into his apartment, Krispin clinging to his hand the whole time. He shut the door behind them both and leaned against it, staring at Krispin, who was staring around the apartment.
"It looks different."
"Ahh.. I rearranged the furniture. I needed something to do." Jin blushed slightly. It felt stupid to admit to it, but he had needed things to take his mind off Krispin, and moving his furniture around had been one of them.
Krispin turned to grin at him, and then reached out and took both his hands, pulling him away from the door, out into the centre of the room. Then he let go, and walked a slow circle around him. Jintesh stood still, unsure what to do now.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm admiring you from all sides." Krispin was back in front of him again, reaching out to remove Jin's coat, letting it slip from his shoulders and drop to the floor around his feet. "There's something very special about you, Tesh. I don't know what it is, but it makes me horny." He giggled, moving close to Jintesh in a fluid motion, and kissed him, his lips hot and moist, his tongue twisting in and out of Jin's mouth in a fast, flickering way that made Jin's brain almost cease to function for a moment. Jin wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer still, wanting to get rid of everything that lay between them and let them just be one somehow. Krispin was so good at destroying his ability to think, to know, to do anything but desire.
Krispin guided both of them towards the bed, not letting their lips part for more than a few seconds at a time, and suddenly Jintesh felt the bed pressing against the back of his knees. He sat down rather abruptly, breaking the kiss completely.
Krispin laughed. "It's good enough." The boy kicked off his sneakers, then knelt at Jintesh's feet, unlacing his boots. Jin just watched, feeling totally out of control of the situation.. but he didn't mind, really. Krispin wanted to do it his way, and that was just fine. Krispin was here, with him, and it had nothing to do with drugs. It was all about desire. Krispin wanted him, wanted to make love to him and make it special for him. That alone made everything that had come before insignificant and petty in comparison.
Krispin finally managed to remove his boots, and then slid upwards, moving to sit on Jintesh's lap, facing him directly. "I wonder what I should do to you first," he spoke softly, teasingly, his face only inches from Jin's. His hands moved down to wander over Jin's chest, toying lightly with his nipples through his shirt, and Jin sighed; that touch alone was enough to make him lightheaded.
"Anything. Anything you want." He was Krispin's, completely. The silver-haired boy grinned, looking satisfied. Then he tugged at Jin's shirt, pulling it up and over his head.
"Lie down on the bed. Face down," he commanded, getting to his feet. Jin stared at him a moment, then did as he was told, wondering what was going to happen next. He grunted as Krispin sat down on top of him, straddling him. He could feel Krispin's cock, pressing hard between his legs, and he closed his eyes, his groin feeling hot and hard in response.
He felt fingers pressing against his shoulders, tugging and caressing the skin forcefully. Krispin was giving him a massage? Then he groaned as those long fingers hit a particularly tense muscle. Damn, but it felt good.
"Do you have any oils, Tesh?"
"Wha.." he tried to focus on a coherent thought or two. "Massage oil? No."
"Hmm." Krispin's weight suddenly vanished from his back.
"Where are you going?"
"Don't move." Krispin's footsteps padded away across the apartment, and he heard doors opening and closing in the kitchen. Then the footsteps returned, and Krispin's warm, comforting weight pressed against him again. He relaxed.. until something cold and slimy poured onto his back.
"Shit! What the hell is that?"
Krispin giggled. "Cooking oil. Lie still." Deft fingers smoothed the oil across his shoulders, down his spine, covering him with it. Then Krispin slowly massaged the oil into every part of his back, his movements strong and intense. Jintesh lay completely still, a delighted groan escaping him every now and again. It was divine. He couldn't remember the last time he'd ever received such wonderful treatment.
But eventually the fingers stopped prodding and squeezing his skin, and he raised his head slightly, peering back at Krispin. He was rewarded with a satisfied smile from the boy.
"You like?"
"Yeah."
"Good." Krispin sat up slightly, and rolled Jintesh over. He sat down again, pressing his hardness againt Jin's, and in a rush of desire, Jin remembered just what they were here for. A burst of boldness brought on by the sudden rush caused him to reach up and pull Krispin down towards him, taking possession of Krispin's mouth with his own, savouring the sweet taste of it, giving everything over to one wanton kiss.
Then Krispin was taking control of the situation again, pulling on his lips with gentle teeth, teasing him with his tongue, and Krispin's fingers, still slightly slick with oil, slipped across his bare chest, tracing circles around his nipples and trailing down across his sensitive ribs. He twitched, and he felt Krispin's lips smiling against his own.
The boy's tongue moved downwards, assaulting his neck instead, then further still to his nipples. He groaned, loudly, his hips thrusting up against Krispin's body; every touch, every teasing that the boy did to him was like wildfire igniting across his whole body, driving him mad with insane desires.
"Ahh, so impatient, Tesh." Krispin's whispering voice, so sensual, made him thrust his hips again. He felt fingers pulling at his belt buckle, and then Krispin was removing the rest of his clothes, sliding them quickly down his legs and discarding them on the floor.
Krispin's hands trailed back up his bare legs, almost agonisingly slow, and then he felt them meeting at the base of his cock, caressing his balls, and it took every shred of control he had left not to come right then.
"Fuck," he whispered senselessly, and Krispin giggled.
"Not quite yet." The words quivered across the head of his cock, and a moment later he found himself completely enclosed by Krispin's achingly hot mouth. His eyes widened, and he growled. This was too much for him to bear; the delight of this sensation, coupled with all of the little torments Krispin had given him already, pushed him over the edge. He thrust hard and wild, and Krispin kept up with him, silver hair fanning out across Jin's stomach as his head bounced up and down. Everything built up inside, and then Jin felt it all breaking apart in one intense burst of pleasure, and he let out a keening yell as he came, a sound that startled even him. He collapsed on the bed again, his breathing hard and vicious.
Krispin's mouth let go of him, and the boy sat up again, staring down at him. Jintesh lay still for several long minutes, gathering his wits back together. Finally he blinked several times and looked up at Krispin, who was still staring at him, a small smile on his face.
"What?" Jin asked hoarsely.
"Just admiring the view." Krispin replied with a wink. He reached down to the side of the bed, out of Jin's view, and picked something up. A moment later Jin yelped as more cold cooking oil poured down on his body, pooling in his bellybutton.
Krispin giggled softly, and began to rub the oil into his stomach, and up across his chest, caressing his nipples and making them slick. Jin groaned; gods, Krispin had such amazing fingers. And Krispin had such an intense, desperate effect on his desires. As the boy massaged oil into him, he was feeling stirrings of lust in his groin again. Already! How did Krispin make him feel so sexual, so carnal?
Krispin leaned back, slowly, stretching, his eyes on Jintesh. He waited, as if making sure that Jin was watching him, before he lowered his hands to his bare chest, sliding across his own nipples, tweaking them to hardness, and sliding lower, leaving a faint trail of oil along his skin. His eyes half closed, and his smile became self-indulgent, and Jintesh stared. How could it be that just watching Krispin touching his own body could be so erotic? Krispin's hands moved upwards again, pushing one shoulder of his vest off, then the other, till it hung loosely at his elbows. He ran his fingers lightly across his collarbones, shivering slightly, and finally he lowered his arms far enough for his vest to slide off the rest of the way. He tossed it onto the floor.
Jintesh licked his dry lips, and swallowed. He was hard again, his cock throbbing desperately between Krispin's legs, which still straddled him. Krispin was unbuttoning his tight cut-off jeans, his erection jumping out gladly. He slid them slightly down his thighs, then paused.
"Sorry, there's no erotic way to do this while straddling someone," he said with a wink, and moved off Jin to the side of the bed, sliding his shorts off and leaving them on the floor. Then he resumed his position atop Jintesh.
"I want to touch you," said Jin suddenly. Staring at that gorgeous, silky skin was intoxicating.. he wanted to get closer, get to know Krispin's body intimately. Krispin grinned, spreading his arms with a shrug, a gesture that said 'come get me' much better than words could. Jintesh sat up, careful not to dislodge him, and reached out, his hands pressing against Krispin's stomach. Traces of oil still remained, and he followed their trail, across the boy's ribs, up his pale chest, pausing to discover his already hard nipples. He ran his fingers in light circles on them, looking up to see Krispin's reaction. The boy's eyes were closed, his mouth smiling and open slightly, a lock of hair feathered and sticking to one cheek. Jintesh felt his groin stir again at that gorgeous look, innocent and yet stunningly sensual.
He moved his fingers up and along Krispin's shoulders, slithered them down his sides again, and then leaned forward, reaching around to trace patterns across his back. Krispin sighed, a gentle sound, and it made his cock throb, bobbing gently against Krispin's stomach. Krispin's eyes opened again, staring into his. Jin paused in his caressing, staring back.
"Do you want to fuck me, Tesh?" Krispin asked softly, reaching up to brush back his errant silver hair. The question made Jin's cock throb again, and Krispin grinned. "Is that a yes?" He reached down to stroke Jintesh, a delicate touch that was barely there, and Jin groaned helplessly.
"It's a yes," he answered, his voice growling. "But let's do it different this time."
"Alright." Krispin pushed at his shoulders. "Lie back." Jintesh did as he was told, sinking back against the pillow. "Put your knees up." Krispin shifted forward, straddling his stomach now, and Jin raised his knees. Krispin moved back, lifting himself up, leaning his weight on Jin's knees, hovering just above him. "Help me out here, Tesh," he said with a wink. Jin reached out, his hands grasping Krispin's cheeks and spreading them wide, and Krispin reached down with one hand to take ahold of Jin's cock and guide it inside him as he lowered himself slowly onto it.
Jintesh groaned, a deep guttural sound in his throat. Krispin was warm and so perfectly tight-fitting, closing around him in a way that was both divine and agonising; divine because it made him feel so wonderful, and agonising because he wanted more, harder, deeper, faster, better.. he thrust, forcefully, and Krispin moaned, leaning back against his knees, pushing down as if wanting to drive him deeper still.
Jin gave up trying to stay in control of himself and set a fast rhythm, giving over to the passion. He bucked, wild and fevered, and Krispin bounced up and down atop him, whimpering, moaning, the boy's head tossed back in delight. Krispin's erection bounced as well, between their sweating, writhing bodies, and Jin had enough presence of mind to reach out and take hold of it in one hand, squeezing it and tugging it in time with the thrusting of his hips.
Krispin moans reached a higher pitch, and Jin closed his eyes for a moment, just listening to the ragged sound of it all. Rapture burned its way through his whole body, and nothing else mattered but the sensations he was feeling, and hearing, and seeing. Krispin began to whimper almost helplessly, and Jin heard the desperate tone, even lost in pleasure as he was. He grinned, and thrust deeper inside Krispin, pulling and caressing his cock even harder at the same time. Krispin yelped, thrusting his own hips, and suddenly Jin's hand and stomach were warm and wet. The feel of Krispin's come sliding across his skin excited him somehow, driving him wild beyond all reasoning, and the ecstasy ripped through him as he came rather suddenly, thudding deep inside Krispin, groaning.
He lay still and senseless, panting and staring at the ceiling. He could hear Krispin's harsh breathing as well, and after a moment the boy carefully slid Jintesh out of him, and then moved up, lying directly on top of him.
"Hi," Krispin said pointlessly, with a grin, and kissed him gently. Jin wrapped his arms around him, returning the kiss; not a lustful kiss, but a loving one.
"Thank you," he said quietly, when their lips parted. He thought Krispin would know what he meant. Mismatched eyes stared into his, dancing with unvoiced laughter.
"It was my pleasure, Tesh," was Krispin's amused reply.